I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
