So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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