that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
