Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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