Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
