That reminds me...we need to get swords
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
God I need to hump something, right now.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
