so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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