I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
