Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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