She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
They are going to name an STD after you.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
