O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
