just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
