He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
