just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
