Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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