thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize