I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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