is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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