I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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