the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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