yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
