i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
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He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
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Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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