Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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