Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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