i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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