how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize