yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
