Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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