Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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