I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
