Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
