your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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