help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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