hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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