Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
