sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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