at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
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my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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