i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
