It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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