He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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