Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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