That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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