I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
