i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
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i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
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Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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