Kareoke will never be a sober sport
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
