this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Send help, water and tortillas.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
