no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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