Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
