It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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