What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
