Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Randomize
