what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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