I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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