Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
