Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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