Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Randomize