I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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