He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
