I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
