You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
