you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
