You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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