Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
