Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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