just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
